


Apophenia

by PearlTopaz



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cancer, Divorce, Elementary School, Fluff, Hospital, M/M, Neglectful Parents, Phan - Freeform, Sadness, hospital au, little kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearlTopaz/pseuds/PearlTopaz
Summary: Phil and his dad have just left his mother and moved to a new town. A new start. Phil isn't sure it'll be as great as his dad says... until he meets Dan. Read the tags to get more specifics bc I'm sooooooo bad at actual descriptions :)





	Apophenia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, since you're reading this , I'm guessing you ignored my crappy summary and clicked on this fic. Yay!!! I'm going to try to post once a week, I think on Wednesdays but idk yet. Enjoy this chapter!

It was the first day of first grade, and so far, it hadn't been living up to its expectations.

He'd just moved to a new apartment, and that meant a new school. Phil hadn't known most of the kids at his old school very well anyway, so he hadn't missed them. Actually, Phil had been counting the days until school started and he could make some new friends. He'd been lonely all summer, since the only other kid he knew was the twelve-year-old girl who lived two apartments down and she had seemed more interested in her phone than him the only time he'd tried to approach her. Phil wasn't naturally shy, but he also didn't want to be annoying, so he left her alone. 

At his old apartment, Phil would've probably spent his summer playing with Susan, his dog, but his mom had kept her when he and his dad moved out. Phil hadn't fully understood why they'd moved out, his dad using phrases like 'divorce' and 'better off without her' and 'cheating bitch'. Phil knew that the last one had a swear word in it, so he tried not to think about it. It had a harsh feel on his tongue the one time he'd tried to say it, tried to understand why his dad would say that about his mom. It hadn't worked, and he was still very confused about the whole thing. He was especially confused about why his mom didn't want to live with him anymore. He'd asked his dad if he'd done something wrong, if he was the reason they were leaving and his mom and Susan weren't. His dad had said of course not, what a stupid thing to ask. Phil didn't ask again, but he thought about it a lot.

And since his dad spent most days in his room, on the phone and his laptop, trying to find a job, Phil was left on his own. He ate cereal for breakfast, mostly out of the box in handfuls since he couldn't reach the bowls. He ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. That was the only thing he knew how to make. Also, he could reach all the ingredients. For dinner, his dad would order pizza or Chinese. In between, Phil watched TV and drew with broken crayons on the backside of takeout menus and receipts. Once he wrote his name on the wall in bright red crayon, just to see if his dad would notice or even care.

He hadn't.

And so Phil had spent most of the summer bored, and he was looking forward to school. He looked forward to having crayons and pencils that weren't broken and dull, to having notebooks and real paper to write and color on, to eating something different for lunch every day, to being around other people and making new friends. 

Mostly the friend thing.

But the first day of school had come and it had not been as perfect as Phil had hoped. He hadn't realized that in order to have all those nice school supplies, you had to buy them, and his dad hadn't bothered. He used his backpack from last year, and a mini notebook he found under his bed. Half of the pages were ripped out, and the cover was purple. Phil hated purple. He could only find one pencil that was still sharp enough to write with, so he brought that. He didn't know if he was supposed to bring anything else. Just in case, he grabbed his stuffed lion and put him in the front pocket. But it was a far cry from the beautiful new supplies he'd dreamed about. For breakfast, he still ate handfuls of cereal. His dad wasn't awake yet, so Phil pounded on his door until he opened it, wearing pajamas. 

"What is it, Phil?" he'd groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"Daddy, it's the first day of school, remember? We gotta leave, or I'm going to be late!" 

"Right. Right. That. Phil, this year I'm not driving you to school. You're going to take the bus in the mornings, okay? You just have to go to the building door and wait outside. It gets here-" He glanced at his watch, "-Christ, in about five minutes. You got everything you need?" 

Phil had nodded and run out the door, putting on his slightly-too-small sneakers, and taking the stairs two at a time. Which was really hard for his short, six-year-old legs to do, and he tripped and fell down an entire flight of stairs. That hurt a lot, but he was in a hurry. His eyes betrayed him and started tearing up, so he quickly wiped them and continued down the stairs. The world remained blurry, and the lump in his throat was hard to ignore.  _You haven't even gotten to school yet. You can't make friends if you're crying._ So Phil blinked hard until he wasn't about to cry, and hoped his face wasn't too red. He made it to the ground floor and saw, through the glass doors, that kids were already getting on the bright yellow school bus. Panicking, Phil ran outside, bumping into an old man, and barely making it. As he got on the bus, the bus driver laughed. 

"Lucky you weren't late, huh, kid?"

Phil nodded, out of breath, and scanned the bus. Most of the kids looked older, but there, in the front seat, a boy that looked about his age! Phil hopefully slid next to him as the bus started up again. The boy didn't even look up.

"Hi! I'm Phil!" said Phil. He knew that the first step in making friends was introducing yourself. 

The boy looked up. He looked annoyed. "Go sit somewhere else."

That wasn't supposed to happen.

"What?" Phil frowned. 

"I said, go away. If you sit here today, you have to sit here for the rest of the year, and I want the seat to myself. Find another seat."

"Oh. But the bus is moving. It's against the rules." 

"We're at a light. We're not moving."

Phil couldn't really argue with that. Sadly, he slid out again and moved to an empty seat. He spent the rest of the ride staring out the window. Nobody sat with him.

This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped, but he could still make plenty of friends in his real class, right?

It was then that he realized that he had no idea who his teacher was, or where his class was.

He almost started crying. Again. He knew, logically, he could go to the office. They'd help him. His mom had told him last year on the first day of kindergarten that if he ever had a question and he couldn't find his teacher, to go to the office. And his mom hadn't let him down then... but now, he didn't know if he could trust her. She must have done something bad for his dad to call her a swear word, and that meant she might have lied to him. He didn't want to take a chance.

He ended up asking the bus driver what to do as he left. The bus driver confirmed that he should go to the office.

In the office, a woman in a black skirt told him that his teacher was Mrs. Collins, room 107. When he told her that he had no idea how to get there, she smiled and led him there, cutting a path through the elementary-school chaos.

Phil tried to memorize her route as they walked. It was one thing to ask for help on the first day of school and another to be some kind of teacher's pet all year. Luckily for him, Mrs. Collins, room 107, seemed to be very close to the entrance. The woman left him standing outside the door, waving as she left. Phil wasn't sure he wanted her to go- she was the only person he knew in this new school, and her leaving was its own form of terror. Still, Phil knew he had to go inside. He took a shaky breath and opened the door.

There were already kids inside, as well as a teacher. The teacher- Mrs. Collins- was reading and completely ignoring the kids already in the room. She was slightly intimidating. Phil decided not to go talk to her. Instead, he looked around. There were groups of desks clumped together like tables spread throughout the room. Coathooks to his left. A brightly colored rug at the front of the room. Phil took the obvious first step and hung up his boring blue backpack in between a Hello Kitty backpack and an Ironman backpack. He pulled out his single small notebook and pencil. He knew better than to bring out Lion. 

Seeing his name on one of the desks, Phil sat down. Not knowing what else to do, he put his purple (ugh) notebook inside the desk. The pencil he kept out, fiddling with it. He saw that he was sitting between Catherine Valdes and Chris Kendall, whoever they were. Catherine hadn't arrived yet, but apparently, Chris had, because his three new, not purple notebooks were sitting there, next to a whole pencil case full of new, sharpened pencils, and three (also new) folders.

Phil missed home. He missed his old apartment. He missed his mom and his dog Susan and his old school, where even if he didn't really have any close friends, he knew how to find a classroom, and he knew some of the kids in the room.

He really, really wanted to get Lion out.

But he didn't want his first impression to be the new kid who got lost and had a stuffed animal with him.

To distract himself, he took his single pencil and brought it over to the corner, where he'd seen a pencil sharpener. He quickly sharpened his pencil. It made him feel a tiny bit better. On his way back to his desk, a boy stopped him. 

"Hey, are you new here?"

What? "How did you know?" Phil asked, confused.

"You sat on your own and the office woman brought you here. Like me. I'm PJ."

"I'm Phil. Did you just move here like me?"

"Yeah. My mom got a new job."

"Oh. My dad and mom got a divorce." Phil wasn't entirely sure if that would be a good thing to share right away. He wasn't even fully sure about what exactly a divorce was. But he wanted to be honest.

PJ seemed to know what he meant. "My auntie and uncle got that. Now my aunt lives with my cousins and my uncle lives in Florida."

"I wish I lived in Florida." Phil laughed.

PJ looked like he was about to say something, but Mrs. Collins clapped her hands twice, interrupting him. "Okay, everyone, in your seats!"

Phil looked over at PJ, who was already half way to his desk. He darted back to his desk and tried to pay attention.

"We're going to start the day by introducing ourselves! I'm Mrs. Collins. We're going to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, starting with... Sean!" She said.

The rest of the morning was disappointing. They ended up needing two notebooks. Phil tore out a few sheets from his purple notebook and dealt with it. They also ended up needing colored pencils. Phil borrowed three from Catherine, who said she preferred Cat, sitting next to him. 

Lunch was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Phil didn't eat any. 

During recess, Phil wanted to play with PJ, but PJ had made friends during lunch and he was playing tag with them. Phil tried to join but they all just ignored him, so he spent the rest of recess sitting on a swing and kicking his feet.

The rest of the day, Phil doodled in his notebook until his pencil was dull again, while everyone else learned to subtract 5 from 10. 

By the end of the day Phil wanted to go home and lay in bed under the blankets and never get out again. Apparently, school wasn't as great as he thought it would be. 

Just as Phil was about to follow the rest of the kids to the buses, he saw his dad waving his arms by the parent pick up area. He walked over. 

"Phil! My boy! We're in a hurry, okay? Hop in back, bud."

Phil slid into the backseat. He put his backpack by his feet. 

"Why are you picking me up?"

"Phil, I'm real sorry about this. Really. There's good news, though. I got a job at the hospital. I'm gonna be cleaning, you know, a janitor. I can't leave you home, so you're going to have to come hang out with me, yeah? It'll be fun. You can play on my iPad or read, and we don't have to stay that long. My shift ends at 10, so we'll get home around your bedtime, and we can get you some food there, there's a cafeteria and vending machines."

"So I don't get to go home?"

"I'm really sorry, Phil. I did my best to get hours that worked for you but they didn't have any day shifts open. It won't be as bad as you think, kiddo. You'll see."

He turned on the radio.

Phil knew it was silly. He knew his dad was doing his best. But he was tired and hungry and he didn't have a new notebook or crayons or backpack and he hdn't even made any friends.

Phil started crying.

His dad didn't even hear him over the loud music.

By the time they got there, Phil had stopped crying. His eyes were itchy. 

'C'mon, sport. Let's get you some food. Here's a vending machine, I got some money."

Phil silently pointed at the potato chips. He wasn't even sure if he would eat them. He was hungry, but his stomach felt weird.

His dad handed him the chips. "So we're going up this elevator- you want to press six?"

Phil shook his head. 

"Okay, I get it. You're annoyed. This stinks. But we need food and clothes, Phil. I don't want to raise a son on the streets. I need a job."

Phil crossed his arms and looked away.

"Okay, fine. Sulk all you want. Here we are."

They walked out into the hallway. Phil didn't look at the signs. He didn't like this place. It smelled of disinfectant. It felt hopeless. He really, really didn't want to be here.

Phil's dad opened a door with the key around his neck. "Phil, I need you to promise me something. Promise me that you'll stay here. Play on the iPad, read, draw, I don't care. But don't leave. Okay? Promise?"

Phil nodded.

"Great. I gotta go." His dad rushed out the door, barely remembering to shut it behind him. Phil looked at the closed door for a second, willing his dad to walk back in. He didn't. 

Phil looked around. It was a small room. Maybe a break room? That made sense. There was a table with a few folding chairs and a mini fridge. There wasn't anything in it. Phil sat down at the table. His dad had forgotten to leave the iPad or crayons or anything. Not knowing what else to do, Phil opened the chips. He stared at them until he got too hungry and ate one. It was salty.

He considered opening his backpack and coloring in his notebook before he remembered that he'd left it at school in his desk. There wasn't anything else to do here. He'd promised his dad he'd stay here... but he hadn't said "I promise." and that was what really made it count, right?

Normally, Phil wouldn't have even consider leaving the room. He didn't want to get lost or anything. But the digital clock on the wall read  _4:38_ and his dad had said they'd be home by 10. He wasn't that great at math, but he knew that meant he had a lot of time to spend in this small room with three folding chairs and an empty mini fridge. 

Phil slowly tested the door handle. It was still open. His dad must have been in a hurry.

He opened the door slowly and looked out. A woman with long hair disappeared around a corner. Other than her, the hallway was empty. Phil shut the door behind him and tried as hard as he could to commit the door to memory. He didn't want to get lost in here.

Left or right? He and his dad had come from- he thought for a second- the left. Phil turned right. 

He heard sound coming from this way. That meant people. People were interesting, and Phil was lonely. He walked a little faster.

Looking around the corner, Phil saw a man walking next to a little boy, speaking softly to him. Another man- _a doctor_ , Phil thought- was leaving a room on the far end of the hall. Other than that, the sound seemed to be coming from the rooms. The doors were shut, except for one. The room closest to him had a slightly open door.

Phil looked around quickly- the man with the boy were facing the other way and there wasn't anybody sitting at the desk, just a drooping plant. A thrill ran through him as he stepped towards the door. Holding his breath, Phil peeked around the door. 

He saw a beeping machine and a bed. And sitting in that bed-

A boy his own age with brown hair and brown eyes stared right back at Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I'm probably (definitely) wrong about how hospitals in general work, so sue me. I did my best. Let's just pretend any inaccuracies are part of my AU world, since I'm not getting a medical degree/severe illness just for the sake of accuracy. Kudos and comments motivate me to write faster! Thanks for reading!


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